So you ask someone out and they say yes, or you get asked out (you lucky dog!). Now what? First date time, that’s what! So how do you have a good first date? Since they are prone to being awkward I thought I would share somethings that I have learned recently.
When scheduling the first date don’t make it more than a week in advance, any longer and the Negitive Nellies will invaid you head and ruin the date before it happens. Butterflies in the tummy are to be expected, but planning what to do in the event of a terrible car accident is just plan bad form. By the way, just dial 911 and try to stay clam.
Don’t get yourself too gussied up. Unless you’re going to something very formal, try to dress as comfortable as allowed. Now unless your first date is to a nudist colony clothing is not optional, and PJs are never allowed. A first date is in many ways like a job interview, don’t wear a tux unless your trying to be a super cool secret agent, like wise your ripped and stained jeans give off the air of dishevelment. If you decide to buy something for the event, make sure it’s something that you can and will wear again, otherwise it’s a waste of time and money.
Choose somewhere that fits your level of comfort. If you go to dinner, you’ll have to talk, a lot. If you go to a movie, you’ll have limited time to talk so you’ll have to get the important stuff out. Also, offthe wall places can backfire, in a big way. So unless your hardcoreinto Monster Truck Rallies, I’d avoid that or your date will assume that’s your thing.
I previously mentioned very formal dates, I personally also find this a bad way to start things out for several reasons. The first and for most being that it is an instant high stress situtation. Let’s face it most of us don’t spend time in ball gowns and worrying about which fork to use, so to be thrown into that kind of situtation puts undo pressure on your date. It also becomes expected. I know this sounds terrible, but your first date is the bar against which all others are measured! If you take your date to the nicest restaurant in town (you know the one that you need a reservation for like 2 weeks in advance?) then (s)he will figure that’s normal for you, if your more of a TGI-Fridays kind of person, go there!
On the flip side, McDonalds Play Place is not a date enviroment. EVER.
Do try and plan a fun date! If you and your date both enjoy hiking, then go for that! Doing something comfortable and normally enjoyable for you will make the date go smoother. It takes some of the awkward edge off. However, if you enjoy going to strip clubs or opium dens, you may want to think about other places for your date…
Don’t show every (or possibly any) skeletons in your closet. There is such a thing as too much information. If you have a funny story about that time in college, ask yourself if you’d tell it to your grandma. The exception is if you know the person prior and you know that they will find the story funny. Oh, and please people no “band-camp” stories, keep the sex in the bed room. Remember some mystery is good, but you do have to share some things. First date conversation can be forced and strained at times, so be ready to fill the gaps, let the silence go too long and the date sinks.
Ladies, this is to you. Remember how your mom gave you that wonderful pearl of advice “Eat a sandwich before you go dear, men don’t like women who eat.” Chuck that out the window. Now. While I would caution that emptying the buffet line is bad, eating a full meal isn’t. Eat normally. Guys appericate that. I really don’t think they want to date a bird, especially considering that’s illegal in probably all states.
The date has reached it’s end, and you are wondering if you should prolong it. I can only give you my take on it. If it feels comfortable and right then fine. Don’t force anything! Now as I condone this scandlous behavior, I can hear the words of a good friend coming back to me, “Who wants to buy the cow, when they can get the milk for free?” To that I say, ask the cow.